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Actually Build Resilience and Overcome Suffering With These 3 Steps

October 18, 202410 min read

In the darkest times, when suffering seems inescapable, some individuals rise above adversity. How? What sets them apart is not an absence of pain but a deeper ability to find meaning amidst the suffering.

Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist, discovered a profound framework for doing just that. Through his experiences in concentration camps, Frankl developed a three-step approach to help people find resilience, purpose, and meaning in life’s most difficult moments.

Take it from someone who not only endured suffering, but arguably the most disgusting and horrific acts of suffering placed upon men, women, and sadly little children. Frankl lost his wife, his parents, and his friends during World War 2. He had every reason to lose hope and faith during those days that were so awful that I honestly can't even find a word bad enough to give it. But he didn't.

When Viktor Frankl was admitted into his concentration camp, he was in the process of writing his book, and tried desperately to hold onto and hid his life's work that was so important to him. But his clothes were taken from him, with the manuscript in the jacket pocket, and destroyed.

Once Frankl learned of his wife's passing, it was in that moment that Viktor Frankl decided to find meaning in his suffering, and make it his mission to not only help those in the concentration camp to have a vision of a better future, but to also find meaning in their suffering too. Frankl made it his meaning to finish his book and share his life's work.

Frankl’s book, Man's Search for Meaning, outlines these principles, offering timeless wisdom that can be applied today to overcome suffering and build resilience. Let’s explore this framework and how you can use it to find strength in your life.

Step 1: The Power of Action (Doing)

a strong woman rock climbing

The first step in Viktor Frankl's framework is doing. Frankl believed that taking purposeful action was essential in creating meaning, even in the face of suffering. By engaging in meaningful activities, we take control of our circumstances, no matter how overwhelming they seem.

“Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.” – Viktor Frankl

I coach people on this all the time. On how the power of "doing" or taking action, regardless if you fail, make a mistake, or experience a setback influences your life for the better. Helping you grow and make progress towards your compelling vision for your life.

"If you're not growing, you're dying." - Tony Robbins

Viktor Frankl when learning about the impact and importance of doing in our lives, understood that the reason why "doing" is so vital and important in our lives is because "doing" meant moving. Movement is essential to a fulfilling, meaningful, and significant life. If we aren't moving, you aren't living. It's that simple.

For example, how many people do you know who do nothing? They might go to their 9-5 job, but afterwords they park their behind on the couch, bring out their can of soda with a bag of potato chips, and watch the game or binge a Netflix show, and they're incredibly unhappy? Worse, you feel unhappy for them! I'm sure you know some people who make no movement in their lives. They just live the same day over and over again, and complain that life is unfair, the economy is the problem, and their ex was a demon...

This is a core principle of resilience psychology. When we feel powerless or trapped in difficult situations, taking action, even small steps, can help us regain a sense of control. Action fuels resilience by giving us forward momentum, even when the path is uncertain. Think of resilience training not only as a way to bounce back from hardship but as a practice of taking consistent action toward what matters, despite adversity.

Whether it's finding a way to contribute to others or simply doing something that aligns with your values, action is a way to find purpose. Frankl’s experience in the concentration camps was unbearable, yet he maintained purpose through small, daily acts of kindness and mental discipline. It was in the doing, in the small choices he could control, that he built his resilience.

Step 2: The Importance of Experiences

three friends in a canoe on a river

Frankl's second step revolves around experiences. Every moment offers us the opportunity to experience something meaningful. Whether it’s through love, relationships, personal growth, or even pain, our experiences shape how we see the world and ourselves. Frankl argued that these experiences, good or bad, help us find meaning in life.

“What is to give light must endure burning.” – Viktor Frankl

This idea reminds us that resilience isn't built solely through success but through how we interpret and integrate life’s experiences. Whether you're enjoying a moment of peace or struggling through hardship, each experience contributes to your journey of growth. How we interpret our experiences—especially our suffering—can shape our resilience.

Experiences are an important part of life. If I hadn't gone backpacking to the fourteen countries (and hopefully more soon), I know for a fact that I wouldn't be the man that I am today. Those adventures not only shaped me into the person I am today, but they challenges me and helped me grow. Without those experiences, I wouldn't have had the moments that I cherish with the friend I made there, or learned the skills of making new friends.

eddy green standing in front of a mountain in vietnam

It's why we also consume so much content whether that's through streaming services or online with social media. We are experience craving creatures, and we go on these platforms so that we can experience things such as emotions, new places, excitement and adventure. These are some things that we might value, like adventure and excitement, but we are held back because of our inability or fear of doing and potentially suffering.

Personal growth often comes from our hardest moments. I know for a fact that is true. If it wasn't for my hardest moments, the moments that involved the most suffering in my life, then not only would I have not grown as much as I have, but I also would have less meaning in my life.

We can’t always choose what happens to us, but we can choose how we respond to our experiences. This shift in mindset is a powerful way to build resilience. Viktor Frankl in his book "Mans Search for Meaning" talks about this. He shares that there is a space between a stimulus and response. We get to choose how we react in between the two in that space.

"We don't always get to choose where we come from, but, we get to choose where we go from there." - The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Step 3: Finding Meaning in Suffering

a young man sadly looking at the ground

The third and perhaps most transformative step is finding meaning in suffering. According to Frankl, suffering is an inevitable part of life, but how we relate to that suffering makes all the difference. Frankl famously wrote, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”

I've definitely learned this the hard way and as I said before, I am all the better for it. Anyone that I know that I look up to, admire, and strive to be more like, has in a major way endured and dealt with major suffering in their life. It is so admirable that how can you not want to be more like them?

It's why the influencers or thought leaders that constantly share their stories, even though they may have shared the same story hundreds of times, affect us with their words and messages. Once you take a step back and recognize the pattern that I have though, it's that they all involve suffering. Because suffering is a natural part of life, and it's also what makes us deeply human, and build connection and bonds with other people.

Haven't you ever met someone or was introduced to a stranger you have never met before, only to learn that they have gone through a simular situation or hardship as you, and suddenly you not only are have a deep and powerful interaction with this person, but you also feel an incredible connection, even though you suddenly just met this person? That is the power of suffering of my friend.

a group of individuals embracing

My sister had lost her fiancee to pancreatic cancer, and she has an extremely close and deep bond with another woman who also lost her husband. It wasn't to cancer, but that doesn't matter. Because this woman understands what it's like to lose someone you love so much, and who you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with. They both endured the same suffering.

How Suffering Builds Character

Suffering can break us, but it can also offer an opportunity to find deeper meaning. This doesn't mean seeking suffering, but rather learning how to transform pain into purpose when it arises. Frankl’s resilience was built on his ability to find meaning in even the most horrific circumstances, which allowed him to transcend them.

How suffering builds character is by forcing you to causing you to build strength through the hard times, to grow more courageous through stepping forward and facing the suffering, and creating resilience. Learning how to stand back up after a major fall. Suffering is opportunity to learn, and find meaning in even the most rocky of times. That, is how suffering builds character. By teaching you how to keep your balance during the earthquakes of your life.

By accepting suffering as part of the human condition, we can begin to see it as a teacher rather than something to avoid. This shift is crucial for long-term resilience and growth. Resilience isn't about bouncing back to where you were before hardship; it’s about growing stronger because of the hardship.

Here are some powerful suffering quotes to inspire resilience:

- “Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.” – Helen Keller

- “The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive.” – John Green

How to Apply This Framework in Your Life

Now that we understand Frankl’s three steps—doing, experiences, and finding meaning in suffering—how can you apply this in your life? Here are practical ways to start:

1. Take Small, Purposeful Actions: Whether you're facing a small setback or a major challenge, ask yourself, "What can I do today that brings me closer to my values?" or "What small step can I take forward?" Even small actions can build momentum.

2. Embrace Your Experiences: Reflect on both the good and the bad in your life. What lessons have you learned? How can these experiences guide you in the future?

3. Find Meaning in Suffering: When faced with pain, don’t shy away from it. Instead, ask, "What can I learn from this? How can this experience help me grow?"

Through resilience training, journaling, and self-reflection, you can begin applying Frankl’s framework in your everyday life. Remember, it’s not about eliminating suffering but learning how to transform it.

Overcome Suffering and Build Resilience

Viktor Frankl’s approach to resilience shows us that suffering, when unavoidable, can be the pathway to growth. By taking action, learning from our experiences, and finding meaning in pain, we can build resilience that withstands life's challenges. No matter where you are on your journey, Frankl’s wisdom can help you not only survive but thrive.

Let us help you build resilience, find meaning in suffering, and overcome your challenges by subscribing to our newsletter The Growth Navigator. Getting tips, insights, and tools straight to your inbox and you'll never have to worry about missing an article. We'll let you know when something big is coming!

We also have the resources page on our website that we continue to keep adding to, trying to create and offer tools and exercises so you can better yourself, your life, and your future.

But before you go, I have one question to ask you that'd I'd like you to journal on:

How do you find meaning in difficult times?

P.S.

If you found value in this article and other blog articles I have written, or have downloaded one of the free resources and it helped you, please share and spread the word! It helps my blog and my mission incredibly when you share my work! And I am always deeply grateful for it.

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Eddy Green

My name is Eddy. I am the adult son of a single mother who overcame an emotionally abusive relationship with her drug addict and alcoholic husband. I have overcame my own hardships, having been arrested multiple times up until I was 16 when I was expelled from my school district and almost thrown in jail. Since then I have turned my life around, overcame more hardships, and lived my life focused on growth and making an impact in the world.

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