Unlock Joy and Personal Growth: My Blueprint for Crushing Self-Doubt and Building Confidence
How I Plan for Continued Growth
Ah, growth. The elusive, ever-evolving beast that keeps us on our toes and makes sure we never get too comfortable binge-watching Netflix.
When it comes to setting and achieving my personal and professional goals, I've learned that it’s a blend of strategy, self-awareness, and a touch of humor.
So, grab your favorite cup of coffee (or tea, no judgment here), and let’s dive into the quirky, unpredictable world of my goal-setting adventures.
Step 1: Dream Big, Then Get Real
I start with a wild brainstorming session. Think “anything is possible” mode. Want to climb Everest? Sure! Learn Mandarin in a week? Why not!
Once I've got a list of outlandish goals, I narrow it down to what's actually achievable within a reasonable time frame. This process is like sorting through a wardrobe: keep the essentials, and maybe one or two flashy pieces for fun.
Setting Quarterly Goals for Immediate Action
One of the most effective methods I use to set my personal and professional goals is by planning quarterly projects. This shorter time frame creates a sense of urgency that forces me to take action.
Quarterly goals are not only easier to attain, but they're also designed to push me beyond my comfort zone. I set stretch goals—targets that seem almost out of reach—which encourages me to stretch myself and achieve more than I originally thought possible.
Breaking Down Goals into Weekly Objectives
Once I've set my quarterly goals, I break them down into 12-week objectives. These weekly milestones help me steadily move closer towards achieving my larger quarterly projects. This breakdown makes the process more manageable and keeps me on track.
For example, if I have a yearly goal of growing my online coaching business, I might set the following quarterly projects:
Quarter 1: Create online courses.
Quarter 2: Develop a group coaching program.
Quarter 3: Generate traffic to my platform.
Quarter 4: Increase readership of my blog.
Each of these projects is further broken down into 12-week objectives. Then, I schedule daily activities and tasks that help me complete these weekly goals.
Step 2: Embrace the Suck
Let’s face it, growth is messy. It’s full of setbacks, mistakes, and moments where you question your sanity. But here’s the secret: embracing the suck is where the magic happens.
Each misstep is a lesson in disguise, helping me refine my approach and get better over time. Plus, it makes for great stories later on. “Remember that time I accidentally sent an email to 1,000 people with a glaring typo in the subject line? Good times.”
Facing the Struggle Head-On
One of the most significant obstacles I faced while working towards my goals of becoming an actor and a writer was battling shyness, introvertedness, lack of confidence, and self-doubt. The negative inner voice and fear I experienced on stage, behind the camera, or in acting class made me feel vulnerable and exposed.
Implementing a Strategy for Growth
To overcome these challenges, I took uncomfortable action. I deliberately leaned into the discomfort and started implementing a daily system of tools, techniques, and exercises designed to put myself in challenging positions. This consistent practice helped me gain the necessary skills and, over time, strengthened my confidence.
Developing Daily Habits
My approach involved creating regular habits and routines. Every day, I would push myself to take steps that made me uncomfortable—whether it was participating in more acting classes, signing up for auditions, or performing on stage. This consistent action gradually reduced my self-doubt and boosted my confidence.
Embracing Rejection and Critical Feedback
Another key aspect of my growth was learning to embrace rejection and critical feedback. Each experience, though challenging, provided valuable insights and helped me improve. By consistently putting in the hard work—grinding through the hours, building habits, and honing my craft—I was able to transform my weaknesses into strengths.
Growth Through Uncomfortable Action
In summary, it was through the process of taking uncomfortable action, leaning into my fears, and doing the hard work that I was able to grow. By pushing myself beyond my comfort zone, facing rejection, and accepting critical feedback, I not only developed my skills but also built lasting confidence.
So, embrace the suck!
"Personal growth often involves the courage to step outside your comfort zone and become comfortable with being uncomfortable. It’s in those moments of challenge that true transformation occurs." – Unknown
Step 3: Accountability Partners FTW
Surrounding myself with optimistic, driven people is key. These are the folks who cheer me on when I’m feeling down and give me a gentle (or not-so-gentle) nudge when I need it.
We share our goals, celebrate victories, and commiserate over failures. It’s like having a personal cheer squad and a tough love coach rolled into one.
There's the old proverb "If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together." and that proverb opened my eyes (or ears?) when I heard it many years ago.
It taught me that I can't do everything alone, if I truly wanted to make an impact in peoples lives and achieve great things, then like other successful people, I need help.
It has been a work in progress my friends, as I have always had to (or at least felt like,) go it alone. I have always been a shy, introverted, and quiet guy who would rather stay in the shadows where he wouldn't get noticed or be exposed for who he really is.
But I have embraced the suck. I have done the work. And through taking uncomfortable action and embracing the suck, I have not only gained the skills of active listening (yes, that is definitely a skill,) or communication, but I have build a peer group and friend group that makes me proud to call my friends.
They not only support me, but cheer me on along the way. As I do for them. In fact, I find a lot of the times that I would rather do more for them, or add value to them in some way that benefits them more so than myself.
And I bet you anything that they are the same. Because usually we will do more for others than we will do for ourselves.
And let me be really with you. Just because these people are my friends or apart of my peer group, does NOT mean they go easy on me. On the contrary.
They call me out on my bullshit whenever they smell it in the air. Remind me when I said I would do something and I didn't come through on my word. They hold me accountable for myself and the promises I make to myself.
Which forces me to grow, and is how I plan on growing.
Step 4: Reflect and Adjust
Reflecting and adjusting is not only a powerful way to continue to grow and make progress in our lives, but it is essential.
Hands down in my opinion the best strategy for this is by journaling. Journaling is one of, if not the most powerful tool that I think is under utilized. If you were here for the month of June, I did a deep dive into stream-of-conscious journaling and how powerful it is for our mental health, emotional intelligence and clarity in you life.
Below is my morning and evening strategy for reflecting and adjusting to grow every single day, week, month, and year through journaling. Pleaser use it if you believe it will create momentum in your journey towards growth and building your confidence.
And also, feel free to tweak it if needed! Make it fit your routine or your style of how you like to reflect or get things done. There is not right or wrong answers. I myself switch it up all the time! I'm always consuming books, courses and other educational materials to get better and learn every single day.
Daily Morning Journaling: Your Power-Up Routine
Reflection (Two Pages): Imagine waking up with the clarity of a Jedi master. Each morning, you dive into your trusty journal and reflect on the previous day or even the last week's escapades. You'll jot down everything from activities and thoughts to your quirky musings, mood swings, energy levels, diet experiments, and those small (or mighty) victories. Remember, journaling isn't just scribbling; it’s an artful self-dialogue!
Planning (One Page): Your journal then morphs into a strategic blueprint. Think of it as your personal mission plan, with an hour-by-hour breakdown to keep you laser-focused. Setting clear objectives keeps that pesky overwhelm at bay and primes you for productivity nirvana. No more "where did my day go?" moments—just pure, unadulterated clarity.
Goal-Setting (One Page): After the planning, I write down my yearly goals, my quarterly goals or projects, and then my daily activities for this weeks objectives towards those quarterly goals. I do this every single day to keep my aspirations and desires at the forefront of my mind so when I'm not thinking about them, I still take action or do things that align with what it is I want to accomplish.
Evening Reflection Process: Your Nightly Achievement Toast
Achievements and Wins: Before you hit the hay, grab your journal again. This is where you hype yourself up! List out all the day’s wins, big and small, and bask in your awesomeness. Building confidence every evening is like giving your self-doubt a gentle "back-off" nudge.
Challenges and Obstacles: Next, recount those pesky roadblocks that popped up. Treat it like problem-solving practice. Each evening, you’re flexing those mental muscles to address future challenges like a seasoned pro.
Idea Generation: Your brain is constantly buzzing with ideas—some genius, some... well, not so much. But every idea goes into the journal mix. This brainstorming stew helps cook up valuable insights and fresh projects. Who knows? Your next big breakthrough might be in there!
Gratitude: Wrap up your journaling with a gratitude list. It’s like dessert for your soul. Reflecting on what you're thankful for ends the day on a high note, fostering a warm, fuzzy sense of fulfillment and positivity.
Weekly Review Process (Every Sunday): Weekly Wisdom Unveiled
Review Evening Reflections: Every Sunday, it’s time for a deep dive. Crack open your journal and review the past six or seven days' reflections. This is where trends and patterns reveal themselves like plot twists in your personal story.
Pattern and Trend Analysis: Spot the good habits blossoming and pledge to nurture and amplify them. Equally, catch those pesky patterns that need fixing—and strategize to squish them.
By following this routine, you stay reflective, adaptive, and relentlessly aware of your progress. It's a powerful approach to goal-setting and achievement that will keep you growing, confident, and constantly evolving. Plus, it’s kind of fun seeing all your quirks and triumphs scribbled out.
“Growth is never by mere chance; it is the result of forces working together.” - James Cash Penney
Step 5: Stay Curious
Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it fuels my growth. I’m always reading, learning, and exploring new ideas. Whether it’s diving into a non-fiction book (Dan Kennedy’s got some gems) or trying out a new hobby, staying curious keeps my mind sharp and my goals fresh.
It's in this curious state-of-mind that has actually been the biggest factor towards my personal growth and development. When I was in my early twenties, I was a bartender for a burger joint and wasn't doing much with my life.
I would go out drinking almost 5 nights a week (the other two I would be hungover) and was filled with negative thoughts, was over-reactive, and a pretty peeved dude most of the time.
It wasn't until I had enough of my current state of life and living (and also to impress a girl I really like) did I pick up my first non-fiction book. It was called "The Social Animal" by David Brooks.
This book completely changed my world and opened my eyes. Ever since then I was hooked and non-fiction books are all that I read. (Unless Stephen King comes out with a new horror novel.)
Since then, I have been so curious about everything and so invested in growing in any area that I want to get better at.
I hope that you do that too. I sincerely hope that you stay curious and want to continue to grow and to learn and if nothing else, just continue to wonder. Wonder, curiosity and awe or to me two of the most powerful, deep and beautiful emotional states ever. Don't let them go.
Conclusion: Keep On Growing
So there you have it, my not-so-secret formula for setting and achieving goals. It’s a mix of dreaming big, breaking things down, embracing the messy parts, leaning on my tribe, reflecting, and staying curious. It’s a wild ride, but it’s one I wouldn’t trade for anything.
Don't forget to celebrate either. Every night when I do my nightly reflections, I pat myself on the back. whether it was for overcoming or facing an obstacle. Achieving or celebrating a win.
I say things to myself like, "Way to go, Eddy." or "Good job, Eddy", "Way to face that uncomfortable situation bro."
Talking to myself like this and patting myself on the back reinforces to me that I am doing what I intended to do, and I'm growing. As well as I don't necessarily need other peoples validation. Why not be your own biggest cheerleader?
Remember, growth isn’t a destination; it’s a journey. And as long as we keep moving forward, even if it’s just one small step at a time, we’re on the right track.
It’s built on the foundation of small wins, relentless perseverance, and a belief that you are destined for greatness.
So, my friends, keep dreaming big, keep pushing boundaries, and most importantly, keep growing. Embrace every challenge, celebrate every victory, and never stop believing in yourself. After all, the world needs your light, your passion, and your unique brilliance.
Until next time, stay confident, stay fabulous!
Now, go forth and conquer your goals, one hilarious mishap at a time.
P.S.
If this post has helped you or made an impacted in any sort of way, please share it or show it to someone who you believe could benefit from it! Or email me and let me now what you thought, any questiosn you might have, or a topic you might want me to discuss. It would mean the world to me :)