What is Self-Awareness? Only The Key to Unlock Life's Personal Growth

“Self-awareness gives you the capacity to learn from your mistakes as well as your successes. It enables you to keep growing.” — Lawrence Bossidy

Self-awareness is one of the most foundational elements of personal growth and emotional intelligence. It’s the ability to recognize and understand your own thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and how they align with your deeper desires and values. At its core, self-awareness is about becoming aware of yourself—your internal world, triggers, joys, and the things that drive you.

Self-awareness is one of the key components of emotional intelligence, which also includes self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. It’s not only about observing your thoughts and emotions but also about how these impact your actions and behaviors. When you understand your internal world, you gain the ability to improve every aspect of your life.

I truly believe that self-awareness is the critical and most crucial part to anyones transformation, personal growth and progress in life. Every where I go, every books I read or speech I watch it always comes back to self-awareness.

If anyone were to ask me how they could change their life, relationship or what the first step to mastering their habits, results, or emotions is, I'd say self-awareness.

Why Self-Awareness is Essential for Personal Growth

“The more aware you are of yourself, the more you can improve and change yourself.” — John C. Maxwell

Without self-awareness, meaningful personal growth becomes impossible. Self-awareness allows individuals to identify their strengths and weaknesses and recognize patterns in their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. It’s the first step to breaking free from negative cycles and becoming the person you truly want to be.

Think about it. If you were to just brush this article off and roll your eyes thinking "self-awareness is not that important. Eddy's full of it," then how would you overcome your obstacles or short comings in your life if you didn't or wouldn't become aware of them? Don't worry, I'll wait to hear your answer...

According to Tasha Eurich in the Harvard Business Review, self-awareness is defined as “the ability to see ourselves clearly—to understand who we are, how others see us, and how we fit into the world.” Eurich distinguishes between internal self-awareness, which represents how clearly we see our own values, passions, and aspirations, and external self-awareness, which is about understanding how others see us. This dual perspective is critical for personal and professional growth. Source

For example, when I was 16 and found myself in a jail cell after multiple arrests, selling drugs, and being expelled from an entire school district, I realized that if I didn’t develop some form of self-awareness, I would end up either dead or spending my life in and out of prison. That pivotal moment of introspection—of finally paying attention to who I had become and where I was headed—allowed me to change the trajectory of my life. If I hadn’t tapped into self-awareness in that moment, I wouldn’t be here today.

In my article I wrote for Tiny Buddha on feeling lost, scared, and broken, I talked about how sitting in silence during those two days in the cell was a massive gift for me at that moment in my life. I was forced to sit in silence for those two days and finally sit with myself and dive into self-awareness. It was hard, it was heavy, but all change and transformation is.

Nothing in personal development, self-improvement, or whatever you want to name this industry is. Anything that involves personal growth, progress, and becoming a better human being is messy. But here's the thing, if you decide not to do it because of how hard and heavy it is, then the opposite is taking the easy route. The route of ignorance, which, funny enough, is just as hard if not harder.

Self-awareness is crucial because it helps you set meaningful goals. How can you know what you want in life if you don’t first understand who you are? Once you’re self-aware, you gain clarity about your needs, desires, and goals, and you stop feeling lost and aimless. And even if you do become lost or aimless, you have now developed the tools and muscles to realign yourself and get back on track.

Think of a compass who's needle suddenly breaks, flying back and forth, right and left, but because you've used this compass before and know how to use it, you just flick it on a certain spot, and it's working again, pointing in the direction you want to go.

Developing Self-Awareness: Practical Steps

Building self-awareness takes intentional effort and practice. It's not something that you can just say you'll start doing and then suddenly it's a consistent thing in your life. Like all new habits, it takes time and patience, trail and error, and an old habits that you replace it with. Here are some practical steps you can take to start developing this skill:

1. Journaling: Keep a self-awareness journal where you regularly reflect on your thoughts, emotions, and reactions. Writing things down helps you process and understand your internal world.

This is my favorite form of building awareness. Self-reflection through journaling is a great way to distance yourself from your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. There are also tons of tools and techniques out there, one of which I have written about called stream-of-consciousness journaling.

Some prompts to ask yourself when journaling are:

1. What are the top three emotions I feel most frequently, and what situations trigger them?

2. When faced with a difficult decision, what thought patterns do I tend to fall into? Are they helpful or harmful?

3. What is one habit I want to change, and how does it affect my daily life?

4. How do I respond when someone gives me constructive feedback, and what does that reveal about me?

5. What activities make me lose track of time, and how do they align with my deeper values and goals?

2. Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness techniques to observe your thoughts without judgment. Being present in the moment allows you to become more aware of your emotional and mental state.

There are many other forms of meditations just like journaling techniques. I meditate everyday for twenty-five minutes. Meditation also takes work, trial and error and building the muscle of doing. It has taken me many years to get to a place where I could meditate for twenty-five minutes, and also look forward to it.

I also experimented with lots of different meditations. An easy one to start with is just focusing on your breath, and like everything else, I recommend you start small for something like two minutes. If you want to go longer, great! But the goal isn't to do it as long as you can, it's to build the consistency so that it becomes automatic and thoughtless to do.

Two-Minute Breath Meditation

• Find a comfortable seated position. Close your eyes and bring your attention to your breath.

• Start by noticing the sensation of the breath entering your body through your nose. Feel the air as it moves into your lungs, filling your chest and belly. Pause for a moment at the top of the inhale, and then gently release the breath, noticing how it feels as it leaves your body.

• Let your breath flow naturally. Simply observe the full cycle of each breath—inhaling, pausing, and exhaling. Allow your mind to focus solely on the sensation of breathing.

• If your mind starts to wander, that’s okay. Simply notice the thought and gently bring your attention back to your breath. Each inhale and exhale is an opportunity to stay present.

• For the next two minutes, continue focusing on your breath. Let go of any effort or control, and simply observe the natural rhythm of breathing.

• Take one more deep breath in, and when you’re ready, slowly open your eyes and return to the present moment.

3. Seeking Feedback: Sometimes, the people around you can see things you can’t. Ask for constructive feedback from trusted friends, family, or mentors to identify any blind spots you might have.

Doing this can really help you become more self-aware of not only how you behave, but also how you make others feel. It's a great way to start using self-awareness to improve and grow your relationships with the people you care most about in your life.

4. Monitor Your Thoughts: Use CBT tools like thought records or emotion logs to track your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. This can help you recognize patterns and areas for growth.

How to Create Thought, Emotion, and Behavior Records

1. Set 1-2 Alarms Throughout the Day

• Choose times during your day when you’re likely to be active or interacting with others, like 11 a.m. and 3 p.m.

• Set alarms on your phone or device as reminders to record your thoughts, emotions, or behaviors.

2. Jot Down What You’re Doing

When the alarm goes off, quickly take note of:

• Time of Day: What time is it?

• Environment: Where are you (home, work, etc.)?

• Who’s With You: Are you alone, with family, coworkers, etc.?

• What Happened Right Before: Did something trigger a response—like a conversation, a task, or a problem?

• Thought: What thought is running through your mind at that moment?

• Emotion: How do you feel? Anxious, happy, frustrated, etc.?

• Behavior: What are you physically doing at that moment? Talking to someone, working, relaxing?

3. Review at the End of the Day

• At the end of your day, set aside 5-10 minutes to review what you wrote.

• Look for any patterns in your thoughts, emotions, or behaviors. Did certain situations trigger a recurring emotion or behavior? Did a particular thought come up multiple times?

• Reflect on how these patterns affect your day, and what might need to change.

According to Kendra Cherry in “Consciousness in Psychology,” consciousness is the individual awareness of your unique thoughts, memories, feelings, sensations, and environments. Self-awareness, as a state of consciousness, involves making the self the focus of attention. This awareness is subjective and unique to each individual, playing a crucial role in personal development and emotional intelligence. Source

The Role of Self-Awareness in Emotional Intelligence

Self-awareness plays a crucial role in emotional intelligence. When you’re self-aware, you can better manage your emotions, empathize with others, and improve your relationships. Emotional intelligence starts with understanding your own emotional triggers and responses. From there, you’re better equipped to manage how you react to stressful situations and relate to those around you.

In one of my earlier posts on emotional intelligence, I explain that self-awareness is one of the four key components. When you’re aware of your emotional landscape, you can control and guide your emotions rather than being controlled by them.

And we can all benefit from becoming emotionally intelligent. Once I started to develop self-awareness and emotional intelligence, I not only began to understand myself better, but also what triggers me, what emotions seem to dominate my days, and how to better manage my emotions to maintain and build connections with others.

How to Stay Self-Aware Over Time

Building self-awareness is a lifelong process. As you grow and evolve, so will your level of self-awareness. Here are some tips for maintaining and deepening your self-awareness over time:

• Regular Reflection: Take time to regularly reflect on your actions and behaviors, whether through journaling or quiet contemplation. Above I offered a few suggestions and tools for you to begin developing a self-awareness practice. Start small, making it easy to integrate it into your life, and go from there. If you're unsure how to build habits, click here to read an article I wrote on how to build micro-habits.

• Mindfulness Practices: Incorporate mindfulness or meditation into your daily routine to help keep you grounded and aware. Again, start small.

• Surround Yourself with Support: Be around people who challenge and support your growth. Positive influences can help you stay accountable. Not everyone is going to support you always, and some of your friends may never challenge you, always saying what you want to hear. So it's important for you to find your people for different areas of your life.

If you're looking for support on your personal growth journey, check out some facebook groups on personal growth and personal development, or reach out to me and my team if you need the extra support and coaching. I'd love to help you achieve your goals!

• Ask Empowering Questions: Regularly ask yourself, “What do I want? Who do I want to become?” These questions will help you stay aligned with your values and desires.

The Journey of Self-Awareness

“Self-awareness doesn’t stop. It’s a journey, not a destination.” — Gary Vaynerchuk

Self-awareness is the key to personal transformation, but it’s not an easy journey. Like any meaningful work, it takes time, effort, and patience. Don’t expect to figure everything out overnight. It’s hard work, but it’s the most rewarding work you can do because the more self-aware you become, the better you will be at creating the life you want.

One of the most important aspects of self-awareness is figuring out what you want. When we start to develop a self-awareness practice and ask ourselves the deep questions, we begin to gain direction and purpose in our lives. Have you ever felt lost or directionless? I know I have. That usually stems from not being clear on what it is you want or desire in your life.

Feeling lost or directionless is one of the most pain feelings and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It's why I help people figure out what it is they want and help them get direction in their life. Because I too have been there. But you don't need me to develop clarity. If you just use the practices and tools I offered you above, start small and build some consistency, I promise you over the next few months or so, things will start to get clearer.

If you’re just getting started, take small steps towards becoming more self-aware today. Whether it’s journaling for a few minutes or asking for feedback from a close friend, each step brings you closer to mastering your life. Ask yourself daily "what do I want" and your brain and heart will start having to answer you.

P.S.

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