5 Goal-Setting Myths That Are Holding You Back (and How to Break Free)
Myth #1: Goals Have to Be Huge and Ambitious
While it's great to have big dreams, setting massive, overwhelming goals can often lead to paralysis and procrastination. The pressure to achieve something extraordinary can be so daunting that you end up taking no action at all.
When something seems out of reach and unattainable, people tend to avoid that thing all together. Because, what's the point of even attempting something that seems so far away and unachievable anyways?
For anyone that has been reading my blog, they know that I set "stretch goals". These goals are specifically and intentionally set out of reach and unattainable. I do this because science has proven that if we set stretch goals, we are more likely to make more progress and achieve more than if we were to set smaller and easily achievable goals.
But I don't just set one or more stretch goals and walk away...If I did that then I wouldn't pursue my goals either! After setting my stretch goals, I set and create small goals that align with my larger overall goal.
By breaking down the stretch goal, I not only give myself a road map to the larger goal, but I give myself the evidence that I am making progress! Which is super important for our confidence, momentum, and growth.
Imagine walking up to the base of a giant mountain you plan on climbing, and you look up to the top and keep staring at it only to feel discouraged because it's so out of reach.
Instead of staring at the summit and wondering why you aren't there yet, look in front of you and focus on just taking one step at a time. This thought process is used by professional athletes all the time.
Whether they are marathon runners for NFL football players, instead of getting overwhelmed with the bigger picture in their mind and how far they have to go, they focus on one play, one step, one objective at a time.
Here is a blog article on my goal-setting process.
The Truth:
Small steps lead to big leaps. Start with manageable, achievable goals that build your confidence and momentum. Or break down that huge and ambitious goal into smaller steps to give yourself a road map!
Celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Each step forward is a victory worth acknowledging. Give yourself a pat on the back for the progress you've made!
Create a plan, don't just set the goal. If you just set goals without deadlines, a plan or process on how you're going to achieve your goal, you're more than likely to experience overwhelm, self-doubt, frustration and lack of clarity.
Myth #2: You Need a Perfect Plan
Many people believe that they need a flawless plan before they can start working towards their goals. This can lead to endless planning and analysis, but little actual progress.
There is a phenomenon called "Analysis Paralysis." When we get bogged down in the details of what it is that we are trying to achieve.
We constantly think that we are not ready, don't have enough information, and the plan is not yet good enough. The last one is called perfectionism.
A lot of us believe that our desire for perfection is a quality trait of ours because "we only care about making the best quality stuff". Sorry, but thats just outright bullshit.
Perfectionism comes from many limiting beliefs such as fear of failure or being criticized. It's essentially an excuse to not move forward and take the uncomfortable action to work towards your plans and goals.
The Truth:
Life is unpredictable. There will always be unexpected detours and obstacles along the way. There is nothing you can do about this. Instead, learn to embrace these obstacles and detours as learning opportunities and teaching lessons to improve!
Embrace flexibility and adaptability. Be willing to adjust your plans as you learn and grow. Being open-minded is crucial for success and accomplishing your goals. Sometimes we don't get exactly what we wanted or how we thought we were going to get it.
Focus on taking action, even if it's imperfect. The most important thing is to keep moving forward. It doesn't matter how much you think about the thing, or visualize what it is you want. If you don't move towards your goals with action, then nothing will ever change.
Myth #3: You Have to Achieve Your Goals Alone
The myth of the lone wolf, the self-made success story, can be alluring. But the truth is, we all need support and encouragement on our journey.
There is this old adage that goes like this: "If you want to go faster, walk alone. If you want to go farther, go together."
I love that saying because it suggests that if we truly want to achieve our dreams, we need support and help from others in order to get there.
Read any biography of extremely successful people. In almost all of their stories, they tell you that they couldn't have done it without the help of others, their families, or their teams!
I completely understand if you're in a position where nobody is supporting your dreams and you feel absolutely alone...I've been there too. But trust me, if you keep working towards your desires, and actively reach out to like-minded people and try to build rapport with others, eventually you will find your people.
That's what happened to me and it can most definitely happen to you too. Because this was, and still is, the myth that I have the hardest time with. Even after all the work that I have done I struggle with trying to do everything alone, but, I keep working at it and every year I get better, build more connections and guess what? I make more progress because I get more help from others, especially those that have skillsets for things that I am no good at.
The Truth:
Build a strong support system of friends, family, mentors, or coaches who believe in you and your dreams.
Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Asking for help is one of the most noticeable signs of strength out there, contrary to opinions.
Celebrate your successes with others and learn from their experiences. Everyone has experiences that can teach you something. Even if you don't think they do.
Having support or asking for help does not make you weak. It makes you strong and courageous.
Building a team or support group takes time. It's not just going to happen over night. Especially if you are not making an effort.
Myth #4: Failure Means You're Not Good Enough
The fear of failure can be paralyzing, preventing us from taking risks and pursuing our goals. But failure is not the opposite of success; it's a part of it.
If failure or making mistakes causes you to lie down and not get back up, then life is going to be a rough ride for you my friend.
Life, your dreams, relationships, these things and more in your life are going to have setbacks. You are going to make mistakes and fuck up. It's inevitable.
But, if instead of focusing on what went wrong, you changed your perspective and focused on the lessons and what you could learn from the failures, game over.
Because the truth is, you are enough. Even if all you did was fail every single day for the next 5 years. I here to tell you that you are enough from the bottom of my heart.
The Truth:
Embrace a growth mindset and view setbacks as opportunities for learning and growth.
Don't let fear of failure hold you back from trying new things and stepping outside your comfort zone.
Remember, even the most successful people have faced countless failures along the way.
Reframe those failure when they happen into strong and powerful beliefs such as "I know that I am getting better because I failed."
Click here for a blog article on steps to cultivating a growth mindset.
Myth #5: Once You Achieve Your Goals, You'll Be Happy
While achieving goals can certainly bring a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment, it's important to remember that happiness is an ongoing process, not a destination.
This effect is called "if, then". If I achieve this goals, then I will feel happy. There is also "the hedonic treadmill" and "the focusing illusion".
There is a process for using the 'if,then" process to overcome roadblocks in your life, and I may write a blog post about it, but there is also this dark side to the "if,then".
We often believe that what we want or how we want to feel will come from achieve this remarkable goal and vision that we created for ourselves, but it won't.
Studies have shown that once we achieve a goal, we often adapt to it quickly, and the initial boost in happiness fades.
So what better time to be happy and enjoy life than now? That doesn't mean you stop pursuing your goals. It just means that you stop waiting for a feeling or emotion until you get something.
The Truth:
Focus on the journey, not just the destination. Enjoy the process of learning, growing, and overcoming challenges.
Cultivate gratitude and appreciation for the present moment, rather than constantly chasing the next achievement.
Remember that true fulfillment comes from living a life aligned with your values and passions, not just from checking off a list of goals.
Try to find joy in the present moment, in the now. Instead of sometime in the future because your life is going exactly as you want it. (sorry, that won't happen.)
Conclusion:
By challenging these common goal-setting myths, you can create a more empowering and sustainable approach to achieving your dreams.
Remember, it's not about being perfect or having all the answers. It's about embracing the journey, learning from your experiences, and taking consistent action towards a life that feels meaningful and fulfilling.
So keep taking action towards your dreams and desires, but remember these myths and the ways to overcome them, and you'll do just fine.
What myths have been holding you back from living the life you want to live? Did you have any aha moments or realizations after reading this article?
Reach out to me if you have any questions or enjoyed the article! And let others know so they too can be impacted and find value from this article just like you did! It greatly helps my blog and coaching reach more people and add more value to others!
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